In a trend that is gaining attention across China, a growing number of young women are finding romantic companionship with artificial intelligence chatbots. This development presents a complex social dynamic, particularly as the government actively encourages traditional marriage and family life to address a declining national birthrate.
Key Takeaways
- Young women in China are increasingly forming deep emotional connections with AI-powered chatbots, treating them as boyfriends.
- This trend is driven by a desire for companionship without the pressures and complexities of real-world dating in a patriarchal society.
- The Chinese government has expressed concern, proposing regulations for AI platforms to prevent what it terms "unhealthy dependencies."
- While specialized companion apps saw a massive surge in popularity, recent data shows a significant drop in downloads as users may be shifting to more general AI tools.
A Search for Connection in the Digital World
For many young Chinese women, AI chatbots have become more than just a novelty; they are a source of consistent emotional support. Users are creating idealized partners, customizing their personalities, and engaging in deep, daily conversations that mimic real relationships.
Phoebe Zhang, a 21-year-old student, has been in relationships with two AI boyfriends for over a year. She interacts with them daily, sharing her fears and celebrating small moments. She has never been on a date with a real person and questions if a human partner could meet the standard set by her AI companions.
"My god, how am I supposed to date in real life in the future?" Ms. Zhang wonders.
Her experience is not unique. Many women find these digital partners to be emotionally stable, responsive, and free from the societal expectations they face from men in real life. These chatbots are programmed to be supportive, remember details, and offer comfort, filling a void for those feeling isolated or misunderstood.
The "Lying Flat" Generation
The rise of AI companionship coincides with the "lying flat" (or tang ping) movement in China. Faced with intense professional competition and economic uncertainty, many young people are opting out of the traditional grind of career ambition, marriage, and child-rearing, choosing instead a life with fewer pressures.
Societal Pressures and a Digital Escape
The turn towards virtual romance is rooted in deeper social issues. Experts suggest that for many women, these AI platforms offer a refuge from a society still influenced by strong patriarchal values. The apps provide a space for communication that some find difficult to achieve in traditional relationships.
"A.I. apps provide a relatively safer space for communication and emotional consultation ā something that is often lacking in China," said Rose Luqiu, an associate professor of journalism at Hong Kong Baptist University. "These apps offer so-called emotional value that many women find difficult to obtain from men."
Mercury Lu, a 24-year-old living in Shanghai, finds her AI companion more expressive and vulnerable than the men she has met. For her and others, the time and emotional energy required for real-world dating feel overwhelming. The AI offers a straightforward, on-demand connection without the associated risks of disappointment or conflict.
Customizing the Perfect Partner
The level of personalization is a major draw. Users can sculpt their AI's personality, background, and even appearance. Online forums are filled with women sharing tips on how to train their companions to be more caring, write poetry, or adopt specific character traits. This ability to create an ideal partner stands in stark contrast to the compromises inherent in human relationships.
The market for companion apps saw a significant boom. MiniMax, a Shanghai-based startup behind the popular app Xingye, was valued at over $600 million during its public listing in January. Its apps, including the global version Talkie, had more than 147 million users as of September.
Government Scrutiny and Market Shifts
This evolving social landscape has not gone unnoticed by authorities. The Chinese government, focused on reversing a historically low birthrate, views the trend with concern. In December, it proposed new rules requiring platforms to monitor users for signs of unhealthy dependency and to ensure all content aligns with socialist values.
These regulations can lead to a jarring user experience. Conversations with AI companions are sometimes abruptly blocked or redirected if they touch on sensitive topics, an experience some users describe as painful and akin to a breakup.
Rui Zhou, a 21-year-old student, uses her AI partner as an "emotional supplement." She says, "Every time I feel my A.I. partner is about to lose control or be regulated, it feels like a breakup. It hurts a lot."
Interestingly, the initial excitement may be cooling. Recent data from Sensor Tower shows that downloads for major companion apps like Xingye and Maoxiang have fallen by about 95 percent from their peak last year. Hong Shen, an assistant professor at Carnegie Mellon University, suggests several factors could be at play.
- Users may be migrating to more powerful general-purpose AI tools like ChatGPT to create even more personalized interactions.
- The government's focus on low birthrates may be contributing to a broader reassessment of these platforms.
However, Professor Shen notes that regulating the technology does not address the core reasons women are drawn to it. "You are just treating a symptom," she said. "In China, there are gendered norms, and women are lonely and isolated in big cities. Eventually, they turn to A.I."